Adam and Eve were the first finger-pointing couple on the planet. When things went wrong, Adam said to God, “It’s the woman’s fault.” Eve said, “It’s the devil’s fault.” Ever since then humanity has become experts in making excuses, playing the victim, and shifting the blame. Owning our story means that we own our relationships fully and completely.
Now you may be thinking, “A relationship is a two-way street. How can I be accountable for a relationship when the other person is being a complete jerk? Or, they are not responding and refuse to be engaged in the relationship? Or when they are unreasonable, irrational, and impossible to talk to?
Owning your relationship doesn’t mean you are responsible for what other people do. It means that you accept responsibility for everything you do and for everything you bring into the relationship:
- Your attitudes
- Your feelings and emotions
- Your perspective
- Your body language
- Your words
- Your tone of voice
- Your investment
Rather than playing the victim, passing the blame, or making excuses, you take full responsibility to be the best you that you can be.
By the way, if this sounds risky and daring, this is just a reminder that you cannot live a full life if you are being guarded and playing it safe. Life at its fullest is about being open, vulnerable, and risking exposure. Owning every part of our story means we make a move when there’s no guarantee of the outcome.
If you want your relationships to be healthy and strong, one of the best things you can do is to have a full-ownership policy, where you take personal responsibility and ownership of your relationships. Scripture tells us that there’s power in agreement and that “two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9), meaning that the more people in a relationship do this, the stronger and healthier the relationship is. But if we’re going to own our story, we can’t wait for others to adopt an ownership mindset; we have to do it whether anyone else does or not. “Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can do with your own life” (Galatians 6:5 The Message Version).
This means taking full ownership of your life and relationships. Not 50 percent, not 80 percent, but 100 percent ownership. I’m not saying this is easy, because it’s not. In fact, most of us have been conditioned to place the responsibility for our lives on something or someone other than ourselves.
Going all in will always, without fail, create an all-in kind of harvest. This doesn’t mean every idea works or every plan works. It doesn’t mean every relationship with be long-term and healthy. It simply means that we are wholeheartedly committed to the relationships we have and do our best to bring them into a place of health where they are mutually beneficial. It means that wholehearted commitment always creates an outcome that far exceeds that of a partial, cautious, guarded approach. Scripture teaches us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23).
All in. Not holding back, not keeping score, not waiting to see what others will do. Not tentative, not calculated, not having an agenda. But instead, facing outward, being eager, being ready to serve, being helpful, speaking encouragement, extending hospitality, being always considerate, being kind, and being generous. Being vulnerable is being all in when there is no guarantee of the outcome.
It’s time to take responsibility and ownership for our life and stop blaming others for what we are experiencing in life.