We are looking at the qualities in a person you would like to see before agreeing to enter into a mentoring relationship with them. We have looked briefly at…
1> They make things happen
2> They see and seize opportunities
3> They influence others
4> They add value to those around them
5> They attract others (potential) leaders
6> They equip others
7> They provide inspiring ideas
8> They possess uncommonly positive attitudes
A good attitude is important to see in those you are going to mentor. It often determines how far you will be able to go in bringing them to maturity in the mentoring relationship. Never underestimate the importance of a positive attitude in those you are mentoring. When you travel in life with others, you can only go as fast as the slowest person and as far as the weakest one can travel. Having people around you with negative attitudes is like running a race with a ball and chain on your ankle. You may be able to run for a while, but you are going to get tired fast, and you certainly won’t be able to run as far as you would like.
I have learned this recently with a person that I have mentored for a number of years. Deep inside he is a very negative person. When he is really tired or frustrated this negativity comes out in a strong manner. But, it is there every day if you jus take the time to listen closely. I thought and believed that through mentoring this tendency to being generally negative and at times strongly negative could be trained out of him. Maybe it can, but I have failed to do so. As a result, I have needed to terminate the mentoring relationship as it is not moving forward. He is not growing and developing and I am being drained emotionally and mentally.
9> They live up to their commitments
Commitment is giving the mentoring relationship everything the person has got. Commitment takes a person to a whole new level when it comes to being mentored and becoming a success in life and in ministry.
Joe Griffith, a motivational speaker, is quoted as saying: “You cannot keep a committed person from success. Place stumbling blocks in his way, and he takes them for stepping-stones, and on them he will climb to greatness. Take away his money, and he makes spurs of his poverty to urge him on. The person who succeeds has a program; he fixes his course and adheres to it; he lays his plans and executes them; he goes straight to his goal. He is not pushed this side and that every time a difficulty is thrust in his way. If he can’t go over it, he goes through it.”
When the people you are mentoring share your level of commitment, the mentoring relationship will be a success. Commitment helps you overcome obstacles and continue moving forward on the journey no matter how tough the going gets. It is the key to success and progress in every aspect of life: marriage, business, personal development, hobbies, sports – you name it. Commitment can and does carry you a very long way when in a mentoring relationship.
10> The last quality you should look for in people to mentor is loyalty. Although this alone does not ensure a great mentoring experience, a lack of loyalty is sure to ruin your mentoring relationship with them. Think of it this way: When you are looking for potential leaders to mentor, if someone you are considering lacks loyalty, he is disqualified. Don’t even consider trying to develop him, because in the end, he will hurt you more than help you.
So, what does it mean for others to be loyal to you?
- They love you unconditionally. They accept you with your strengths and weaknesses intact. They genuinely care for you, not just for what you can do for them. And they are neither trying to make you into someone you are not not putting you on a pedestal.
- The represent you well to others. Loyal people always paint a positive picture of you with others. They may take you to task privately or hold you accountable, but they never criticize you to others.
- They are able to laugh and cry with you as you travel together. Loyal people are willing and able to share your joys and sorrows. They make the trip less lonely.
- They make your dream their dream. Some people will undoubtedly share the journey with you only briefly. You help one another for a while and then go your separate ways. But a few – a special few – will want to come alongside you and help you for the rest of the journey. These people make your dream their dream. They will be loyal unto death, and when they combine that loyalty with other talents and abilities, they can be some of your most valuable team members. If you find people like that, take good care of them.
The funny thing about loyalty is that the more successful you are, the more of an issue it becomes.
As you pick people to mentor, focus on people who will not only make the most of what you give in the mentoring relationship and, at the same time, help you. Pick people who will past it on. Mentoring is meant to be shared.