How To Have Personal Charisma! – Part One
I am an introvert. When I take tests that are meant to reveal your personality and how you function as a person I am an extreme introvert. As a result I have had to learn how to live as an extrovert because the majority of the world is extroverted. And, because I needed to develop the personal characteristics and relational qualities that would encourage others to want to have a personal relationship with me. I needed to study and then develop the character and personality traits that draw others to me.
This is not something just introverts need to do. Every one of us needs to develop those qualities which cause people to be drawn to us and cause them to want to relate or become friends. If you don’t take the time to learn about and develop these qualities your will live a lonely life and one that is most likely an inch deep and a mile wide. Your relationships will all be fairly meaningless and very much on the surface of life.
The word that summarizes all of this is “charisma.” Not everyone is born with charisma. But everyone can develop this quality that makes the difference between being a loner and being popular. It makes the difference between being an acquaintance and being a good friend. It is certainly the quality needed to become a leader in whatever area you are working or ministering.
Charisma can be a difficult subject to grapple with because most people think it is a mystical, elusive, undefinable quality that you either have or don’t have. However, Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary has given several definitions to charisma, and this is the one we will use:
Charisma is a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm.
I would interchange or add the word “friendship” where you just read “leadership” and add the word “personal” where it states “popular”
My definition of charisma: A personal quality of friendship (leadership) arousing personal (popular) loyalty or enthusiasm
Each one of us has certain abilities that will increase the charisma of our personality. You don’t have to make a strained effort to become something that is not comfortable with your basic nature. However, if your desire is to become a people person and have good, life-long friends, then you need to develop an appealing personality that causes others to respond to you.
Using the word CHARISMA as an acrostic, we can define the outstanding characteristics of a charismatic person who people want to follow and be friends with. I learned this from several books and a mentor from many years ago.
Concern
Help
Action
Results
Influence
Sensitivity
Motivation
Affirmation
Keep in mind that these traits are not simply inborn; they are attainable by anyone who cares about other people and wants to develop his or her relational skills.
Let’s look at each characteristic in CHARISMA in a little more depth.