Building Healthy Relationships – Part Three

We are talking about your ability to build healthy, long-term relationships. Last time we saw that we need to:

1> Care about people every day

2> Make yourself more valuable in your relationships

3> Put yourself in their world

4> Focus your relationships on benefiting others, not yourself

5> Be a consistent friend in your relationships

A> Believe the best about people

B> Don’t allow other people’s behaviour to control you 

C> Place high value on relationships, even in difficult situations

D> Unconditionally love people

Moving on…

6> Create great memories for people. 

It has been my experience and observation that most people do not maximize the experiences they have in life. To do so, two things are essential: intentionally on the front end of the experience and reflection on the back end. So, anytime you can help people to do those things, the experience becomes special for them, and it often creates a positive memory for them.

Most of us have traditions and memories associated with special days, but I want to challenge you to make memories out of everyday experiences. Every time you are with people, ask yourself these questions:

      • What can I say that will affirm those with me?
      • What questions can I ask that they will find interesting to discuss?
      • What can we do that will be different and fun?
      • What do I know that they would want to know?
      • Do I have a secret of my own that I can tell them?

All of these can lead to great memories. Many little things done repeatedly with high intention are better than big things done only occasionally. You can make big or small moments special for others, but you have to be intentional about it.

7> Move toward the relationships you desire in your life

Put yourself in a position to meet and spend time with the right people. I always want to spend time with people who know more than I do, and whenever I’m with someone I respect and have gotten to know, I ask them, “What do you know that I should know?” That question has given me a greater return in life than any other. The greatest way to know whom you should know is to ask someone who knows you. 

I want to encourage you to be intentional and show initiative by moving toward the relationships you desire in life. If you wait for the right people to meet you, you won’t meet the right people.

Whom do you know who knows someone you should know? You may be only one person away from the next big things that you need in your life. You may be thinking, I’n not a people person. If that’s true, ask people with strong relational skills to help you. Let them complement and complete you. You can draw people to you by saying to them, “I need you.” 

The more you value people, put yourself into their world, seek to add value to them, and be their friend, the better your life will be. Not only that, but doing these things will increase your people capacity, improve your potential, and improve your life. Just remember, helping people is always worth the effort.