Seven Myths That Keep Us Stuck

Guest blogger: Kary Oberbrunner serves the business and non-profit community as a speaker and coach. The author of several books, Kary also serves as a founding partner on the John Maxwell Team. He and his wife Kelly are blessed with 3 amazing children

What annoys you?

Fingernails scratching on the chalkboard? Soup served cold when you’re famished? Important cell phone calls dropped?

Did I get your number yet?

Maybe for you it’s not one of these but rather an empty toilet paper roll when you’re in desperate need of some? Or the feeling you get when someone just stole your parking spot and you’re running late?
Do any of these raise your stress level?

For me, none of these compare to my biggest stressor: being stuck. I hate being stuck, because stuck stinks! Stuck is slow death and chronic Pain.

Not only do I detest it, but I also loathe when other people are stuck. The only difference between being stuck in a rut and stuck in a grave is six feet. I like to see potential flowing smooth and free, unlocked and unleashed. I like to imagine the possibilities and taste the variety of options because I’m fueled by progress and adrenalized by production.

But I know the opposite too. I know plenty of people who are stuck. And I’ve not only seen the other side; regrettably I’ve taken up residence there in times past. I’ve camped in its courtyards and made my bed in its brokenness, most nights unconsciously. I don’t think any of us willingly choose to be stuck. I believe we slip into it rather unintentionally. Given a little time, though, we become full-fledged residents. This doesn’t excuse our condition; it only explains it.

I’ve discovered that many of us cling to 7 myths that keep us stuck.

I bet people taught you the same warmed-over clichés they taught me. See if you can finish these statements:
1.    No Pain, no ______.
2.    Winners never quit, and quitters never___.
3.    If you can dream it, you can do ______.
4.    No guts, no ________.
5.    The early bird gets the _________.
6.    It’s not what you know, it’s who you ____.
7.    Be at the right place at the right _______.

Funny how much these myths shape our ideology and direct our actions, many times even indirectly. Although a tiny nugget of truth might reside within each phrase, breaking them down reveals some interesting false assumptions.

1. No Pain, no gain.
Key point: Hard work
False assumption: Pain produces promotion.
Truth: Choosing the right Pain produces promotion.
Story: I know people who work incredibly hard, never reach their potential, and die with their music still inside them.

2. Winners never quit, and quitters never win.
Key point: Persistence
False assumption: Stick with something long enough and you will win.
Truth: Healthy self-awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses combined with persistence can convert into winning.
Story: I know people who never gave up their dream but failed to acknowledge they were completely unqualified to achieve it.

3. If you can dream it, you can do it.
Key point: Imagination
False assumption: Imagination guarantees you will achieve what you want.
Truth: Vision is only the first step in possibly achieving what you want.
Story: I know people who have an unlimited amount of ideas that never amount to anything.

4. No guts, no glory.
Key point: Risk
False assumption: Risk will yield reward.
Truth: The right risk at the right time in the right way with the right people will yield reward.
Story: I know people who take all kinds of risks and simply take recklessness with them wherever they go.

5. The early bird gets the worm.
Key point: Scarcity
False assumption: There is only one worm.
Truth: A mindset of scarcity, fear, and competition will produce a toxic attitude of threat and defensiveness.
Story: I know people who rush to take first and are in last place because of it.

6. It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.
Key point: Luck
False assumption: You can blame your plateau on the person you don’t even know yet.
Truth: Before others will choose to believe in you, they will naturally judge if you believe in yourself.
Story: I know people who emitted the right frequency and attracted the right people to them because of it.

7. Be at the right place at the right time.
Key point: Chance
False assumption: You stumble into greatness when you stumble into the right space.
Truth: If you’ve prepared for the moment, then the moment is prepared for you.
Story: I know people who won while in the wrong place at the wrong time and others who lost when they were in the right place at the right time.

Taking the Deeper Path prepares us how to identify and overcome these myths that keep us stuck. Isn’t it time to break free?   

In Moscow – Last Day of Ministry in Russia

The picture is of a young apostle-in-training called Alexander (Sasha) who was called out two years ago to begin his journey into apostleship. He took a giant step forward as he worked with me for three days during my work in the city of Mytischi (Friday through Sunday). He was fun to work with, gentle, has a great prophetic gift and grew so much – it was so evident as everyone saw the growth in him from one day to the next. Powerful time for him in the Lord and a great new beginning to a powerful relationship between us.

I am now back in Moscow at the Salt of the Earth Church where I will meet with the pastor whom I mentor. We will have a long lunch together today and then I am working with his youth group from 4:00p to 6:00p followed by a light and quick supper as I then work the evening 7:00p to 10:00p with his leadership team. That brings the Russian part of this trip to an end as I head to the nation of Turkey on Tuesday arriving well into the evening after two flights, customs, obtaining a visa and then travelling the 50 km from the last airport to where the conference I am attending is being held. A long Tuesday obviously.

I have already said no to an opportunity to minister in several local churches in Turkey as I feel I need to rest and try and overcome a head and chest cold I am catching. I want to be at my best when the Central Asia Consultation starts up on Thursday so that I don’t miss any of the sessions. As well, there are a huge number of follow-up emails to write regarding things that I was asked to speak into and training people need – it is a long list as daily things were added to it in each place. Much follow-up is now required and I hope to cover some of the easier ones while I have a down day before the conference starts. Not to mention, a number of emails from Canada and the USA that need answering and some thought about the sermons I need to have ready when I arrive home next week.

Please pray for a quick recovery from these fast-paced two weeks of travel and ministry in three cities and five churches. And, for my first time participation in this annual conference I am attending. Your prayers are greatly appreciated.

Sunday in Mytischi

Saturday was a very powerful day for this ministry and the church I am at in the city of Mytischi. Powerful day of ministry with a tremendous anointing. Thank you for praying and having such a vital role in this ministry and this specific apostolic trip.

Today is not their “Sunday” but simply another day for us to meet and minister. They have their main assembly on Saturdays. Today I am ministering to their network leaders who have come in from various towns and cities surrounding Mytischi. In the morning I am training them in how to move prophetically as well as prophetic evangelism. Then in the afternoon there is a roundtable discussion where the leaders can ask questions about the prophetic, evangelism and prophetic evangelism. A lot of this will need to be spontaneous as it will be interactive but I am enjoying this type of give-and-take much more than I use to.

The evening ends early around 8:00 and it sounds like they are planning to give me an early evening and take me into Moscow in the morning. I am in favor of that as moving everything after a long day and then unpacking again at the other end is simply a bit much in my mind. However, things are always fluid and they may change their minds three or four more times depending on how the discussion goes and who the leaders are talking to. Welcome to ministry in Eastern Europe. However, the ministry for this trip in the city of Mytischi ends tonight and I pick ministry back up again on Monday afternoon with the youth of a local church in Moscow.

Please pray for good weather and safe flights from Moscow to Istanbul, Turkey … the application of a visitor visa in the airport, and then connections to the next flight going from Istanbul to Antalya where I will spend 7 days before flying home to Regina.

I really appreciate your prayers.


Today I am ministering in the city of Mytishchi. This is my second visit to this local church which is pastored by Bishop Pavel (Paul). He is a businessman here in the city who pastors this local church as well as oversees a network of 6 or 7 churches. I am ministering to his local leaders and people today (day three) and then tomorrow I will minister all day and evening to the leaders from all of his churches.

I have one more day here in Russia when I will be ministering to the youth in a local church – the church I ministered in last weekend. Due to a last minute change what I was to do tomorrow was move up to last week and the youth event moved down to Monday. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be broken.

I then fly on Tuesday to Istanbul, Turkey and on to Antalya where I will be attending a conference and building relationships with leaders from all over Central Asia. After arriving late Tuesday night I have two days off before the conference begins. I plan to sleep one of them and read my Bible most of the second day. I need a time of refreshing before jumping into a jammed-packed 5 days relating to many people who do not speak my language nor do I speak there language – but we are members of the same family so we will find ways to share, pray, and build together. Please pray for this coming week.

Saturday in Mytischi

It was a full day yesterday. It took two hours to move from one location to the next one. The traffic in Moscow is horrible but it does allow for a lot of fellowship and good sharing. Bishop Pavel picked two of us (the team is shrinking as we come to the end of the time in Moscow) and moved us to the city of Mytischi where I will be ministering until late Sunday night.

The church where I am working I visited almost two years ago to the day. I had originally prophesied over the pastor (also a businessman and the head of a network thus “bishop”) in the city of Ivanovo, Russia when he showed up at the end of a service and asked me to speak over his life – and I did not know him or anything about him. That opened the door to come to his church two years ago and now the door has been opened again.

Friday I did two services and taught at both as well as both having an intensive ministry time. Today (Saturday) is their “Sunday” service and so I simply teach in the morning service. But after lunch there are two more services that run well into the evening and I will be prophesying for all four hours as there are a lot of people listed on the paper he gave to us and then I pick people at random as well. It will be a long Saturday but the people are open and very receptive and the church has a considerable number of young people. They meet in the basement of an apartment building in facilities once housing a beauty salon. If you don’t know where they are you would never find them.

Sunday is another full day of services – morning, afternoon, and evening – and then it has not been decided if we stay where we are to Monday morning and fight Moscow traffic to get to the next location or go at midnight when the day is over and the traffic is lighter. It is irrelevant to me as I am not doing the driving. I just ned to be in Moscow in time to minister to the youth of the Salt of the Earth Church and then minister to the leadership later in the evening. Tuesday I catch up a bit in the morning (my interpreter will be gone on an early flight) and I will then head to the airport for a mid-afternoon check-in for flights into Turkey.

Please pray as the Russia portion of this trip comes to an end on Monday evening. And for a tremendous anointing on the team and the teachings as we near the end and are fighting weariness and lack of personal space.

The City of Mytishchi

Today I move to the city of Mytishchi where I will work tonight, Saturday and Sunday with a local church and then with the leaders of a small network of churches headed up by the pastor of the church in this city where all the activities will be held. Again, another “pack and move” day which is always a little hard on the system.

Last night – well, 1:00a this morning – we said good-bye to one team member who needed to return to Armenia. He heads out this afternoon by plane but due to traffic in Moscow he needed to reach the other side of the city and it is best to do that in the night as traffic is a little less and it takes less time. He had a place to sleep before heading to one of four international airports here in Moscow. He will have a long day.

The topic of these next three days is basic prophetic and so the teachings are fairly repetitive of the last few years as I teach frequently about the prophetic and how we can all prophecy. The challenge will be the prophetic ministry which they are expecting. The expectation is that every leader present will receive an in-depth work. This is possible as long as the time frames are adequate and they are not too demanding between events – wanting time to talk through issues and situations they are facing. There is only so much physical and emotional, not to mention, spiritual energy to go around. However, God did open this door and I am believing for that it will be a time of quality ministry when the Holy Spirit ministers powerfully to everyone present at all the different events over the next three days. Please pray!

Picture: On the left hand side… Judo champion of Moscow – a young Armenian guy – with a tremendous call of God on his life.

Last Day – Armenian Church, Moscow

Picture: Pastor Arthur / businessman and pastor of an Armenian Church in Moscow, Russia.
Yesterday was terrific. I met the whole afternoon with the same business people I prophesied over last year when ministering here in Moscow. Their reports of what has happened since I prophesied over their business and individual lives was seriously encouraging, and yes, even exciting to hear. I also had the opportunity to prophesy over two others who joined us this time for the meal and meeting and who were not involved last time. Good fellowship, good words, good afternoon.

Today I meet with the leaders of the local church from 1:30 to 5:30 for fellowship, questions and answers and prophetic ministry. This will be followed by supper and a meeting with the pastor and his wife. Then an evening service – 100% prophetic and no teaching as the last two nights have been 100% teaching and no prophetic. That is what the pastor wanted and he is the leader and the one God placed in authority here in this local church. So, a busy day but no longer than usual. And, I sense God wants to speak to a lot of people tonight.

Please pray for a serious impact of God’s power and love in all the events today. Tomorrow (Friday) I head to the city of Mytishchi where I will minister for three days before returning either late Sunday night or Monday morning to the city of Moscow for a full day of ministry on Monday before flying to Turkey on Tuesday… Please continue to pray as we are growing tired as this part of the trip comes to an end as it is nearing two full weeks on the road.

Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Thanks for being a part of all that is happening here as the ministry continues.

Can This Really Be Happening

A Saskatoon man, who filed a complaint with the Saskatchewan Human Rights (SHR) Commission over a Christian prayer by a city councillor at a City-sponsored dinner last April, says he’s been told his complaint will proceed.

The Chief Commissioner declined to confirm or deny whether a complaint has been received, according to SHR policy.

Ashu Solo, a non-Christian who was a member of the City’s Race Relations and Cultural Diversity Committee, was among the invitees of a dinner recognizing volunteers last April 18. Before the meal at the event, Coun. Randy Donauer recited a blessing that included references to Jesus and ended with “Amen,” which Solo says violated his freedom of conscience as guaranteed by the Saskatchewan Human Rights Code and discriminated on the grounds of religion and creed, also under the Code.

On Tuesday, Solo – a native of Saskatoon – released to the media the fourth and final page of a letter from the SHR, which states, “The Commission has determined that there is sufficient evidence to suggest that the Code may have been violated.”

The letter then invites Solo to sign a formal complaint, which, according to the SHR website, is when the complaint becomes official.

It is an early step in a process that is open for resolution at all times, but which can proceed all the way to a hearing at the Court of Queen’s Bench.

Judge David Arnot, chief commissioner of the SHR, declined to comment on the matter Wednesday.

“The Human Rights Commission needs to fundamentally maintain its neutrality vis-a-vis two parties in any complaint,” Arnot said.

Complaints become public only if they go to court.

The signing of a formal complaint is the beginning of a process in which SHR staff talk to both parties and try to resolve the matter through mediation. If no resolution is achieved at that point, the case goes to an impartial investigator who talks to witnesses and examines records to find out what happened.

The matter is referred to the chief commissioner, who decides whether it should be mediated, dismissed, go to court or be dealt with in some other way, such as a union grievance if it is work-related.

“The independence of the chief commissioner has to be maintained,” Arnot said, adding that day-to-day operations are handled by lawyers, investigators and mediators who take a problem-solving approach.

“We’re always looking for an opportunity to mediate, conciliate, to find a cooperative, positive solution … The vast majority of complaints are solved in a constructive way, well before litigation is required,” Arnot said Wednesday.

When Solo contacted Atchison to complain about the prayer last April, the mayor said he was caught off-guard because many of the events he attends include a prayer before meals. He suggested in the future, the dinner could feature prayers from different religions on a rotating basis. There could even be a dinner with no prayer at all for atheists, he said.

Donauer, who is a part-time administrator at Saskatoon Christian Centre, an evangelical church, said in April he doesn’t see anything wrong with praying to Jesus at such an event.

Donauer has not commented on the complaint since it was lodged with the human rights commission.

“If I go to a function, whether it’s a different religious organization or community organization, if they have a spiritual service, opening the function or something like that, I’ve never been offended by that, I don’t have a problem with that. People are entitled to do what they want to do,” Donauer said in April.

Solo has become a controversial citizen activist since lodging the complaint. He regularly emails complaints to city staff and council, and in December, he disputed the inclusion of electronic “Merry Christmas” messages on city buses.

Solo says he will file a complaint with the province’s human rights commission if council does not change its bus message policy.

© Copyright (c) The StarPhoenix

Original source article: Human rights complaint about prayer at city-sponsored event to proceed, says Solo

Read more:

Second Day With Armenian Church, Moscow

It is Wednesday and the day has started early with emails and team meetings as there were a few things to sort out from last night. A team member made himself the focus and talked too much – not listening to the pastor and his wife and their hearts. We are here to listen to them and not to entertain them with our stories. He got the focus wrong totally. So, a team meeting to express my concern and to bring correction. This is why they travel with me and are being mentored daily as we travel from event to event.

I am out with my interpreter today and without team members as the event is five hours with some businessmen that I met with last time I was here. This is a follow-up visit with questions needing answers and further understanding needed of the way the prophetic and business interact. I am looking forward to the afternoon. Then a fellowship supper with the pastor at the facilities they rent followed by a 2 hour service where I will be teaching on basic prophesy and answering questions. This is the same format we had last night. Of course, this is followed by another meal (we are working with Armenians here) and more fellowship and questions.

It is getting somewhat tiring moving every few days to a new place to stay. The current location is amazingly modern compared to the previous three places … so we are feeling good. But, we change cities again on Friday so it is short lived. But, we can enjoy it while we have it.

Please pray for the main team members – myself, Miroslav, and Samvel. As the two weeks begin to come to a close we are weary and often a little short with each other. There has been little to no rest, total lack of personal space, and no personal time… so that wears on everyone and it is just beginning to show. Greatly appreciated.


This came in yesterday from the young man in the picture. He attended a two day conference in the city of Tula. He helped to lead worship even through he is from another church in the city. Upon returning to his own church and the youth ministry there he shared about the conference…He also has asked a question in an email the day before which I have yet to answer. He wrote in English and I have pasted it exactly as received.

I am building relationally with him as his call is powerful and he is going to need discipling and mentoring. God’s Church is in good shape here in Russia and getting ready for a powerful future.

Can’t wait for answer!! 🙂 Today we had our meeting about the youth with the our church team and there we, me and Tonya, the girl who are worshiped and who can also speak english, told about our impressions of this two-days conference! And there is a guy in our team who get some answers after our sharing of information that we got there with the team. And in the end of the meeting me and Tonya’s sister Irina prophecied to him! I’m still so exited about that!!)))) So really thank you very much for this seminars! It was great, praise the Lord!)

Sincerely yours, Andrew.